Thursday, April 8, 2010

"The dice of the intellect are loaded."

I'm not at the 2010 AWP Conference, so I am sadly unable to live-blog it with the best of them. Instead, I would like to submit my humble proposal for next year's event—

Why the 2011 AWP Conference should be held in Vegas:

1. Death: Poets love death. And Vegas is where things go to die.
2. The Riviera: It could really use the business.
3. Fanny Packs: You're already wearing them.
4. High Levels of Oxygenation: To help keep you awake through the inevitable Q & A's.
5. Poetry Nightclub: - "Vegas’s premier hip hop destination...You never know who you’ll see drop by or who’s canoodling in the secluded corners of this aesthetically pleasing night spot." Apparently. Anybody could be canoodling.
6. Donald Revell: Who doesn't at least kind of like Donald Revell? He's a nice guy. He lives in Vegas.
Craps: I'm officially addicted to Craps.
8. Cirque du Soleil: If you like the AWP Conference, we also recommend: Cirque du Soleil.
9. The Eternal Mysteries of Life: Where else do all literary terms, all forms attempting to approximate life and life's approximation in language--synechdoche, hyperbole, literalism, metonymy, foreshadowing, antithesis--come to such a direct point as at the peak of the replica of the Eiffel Tower outside of the replica of Paris so aptly named Paris?
10. Joan Rivers: - Engh? I mean, I ran out of reasons. But need I say more?

This is what the carpet looks like at the AWP Conference. It also gives you a good sense of what the coffee tastes like at the AWP Conference. A little overdone and "tangy."

The carpet design team calls this pattern 'Half-way to Vegas.'